speakveryclearly | CRAU Kanaya Crash Course

SO YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW KANAYA ALREADY. FANTASTIC. EXCEPT, PLOT TWIST, YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW HER LIKE I DO ANYMORE!!!!!! GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you don't want to read anything about leaping antlerbeasts affiliated with a color somewhere between jade and cobalt, THIS IS THE POST FOR YOU.

If you really want to play it blind, the one thing you absolutely need to know is that Kanaya now wears jade lipstick and eyeshadow at all times (unless otherwise specified).

Her original canon point is roughly 4:14! This means that, before coming to Exsilium, she knew NOTHING about a lot of things that happened back home.
- ~~She knows basically jack shit about the plan to meet up with all the humans and initiate the Scratch,~~ because she still does not even know what the Green Sun actually is other than it is a mysterious thing Rose has found! EDIT: Has been told about the Scratch/meteor/new session situation.
- She will not know Aradiabot exploded! Let alone that she became a fairy.
- Originally knew nothing about Murderstuck, but has gradually discovered basically everything except for the orbsplosion, Tavros(kill)Vriska(kill)Terezi, and the actual Jack Noir related ideas of the three rampaging highbloods.
At her canon point she had only been trolling the kids for an hour but all four of the beta kids are in Exsilium now rendering that issue mostly moot.
~~Knows nothing whatsoever about the alpha kids, naturally.~~ EDIT: Kanaya has become best friends with Roxy and met Jake. She also knows Dirk and Jane by name and would recognize them easily by description.
Carriero's human population was dysfunctional, to put it mildly, and gave Kanaya a basically terrible impression of human culture. Exsilium's transports are training her out of space racism, but slowly. For example, she thinks humans almost equally to trolls are prone to perpetual war and violence; the war premise of Exsilium doesn't help dispel this mis(?)conception!
There was this one especially awful human girl named Andrea (from the St. Trinian's reboot) who was basically an emotional surrogate for Vriska, alien Anglo emo edition. She punched her in the face eventually. This has given her a new perspective on what happened between herself and Vriska, combined with the suspicion that Vriska was victim to a terrible fate in the alpha timeline.
Like everyone but Karkat and Gamzee.
What I'm saying is basically just fuck that timeline.
To complete the elaborate Vriska parallel, at one point Kanaya was the auspistice for Andrea and Eridan, a very serious conciliatory romance. The same night as Kanaya was prepared to describe their involvement in very serious terms, Andrea instigated an ugly breakup, immediately after which Eridan was terminated/dropped/killed. Sadness. So much sadness. So, so, so much sadness. Such sad romance. Sadder love story than Twilight.
Yeah, this is why she off and on watches Eridan sleep. She's a rainbow drinker and he gets himself hurt easily, okay.
Gamzee was the other long-term Carriero troll. They bonded a lot in weird and creepy ways but then he killed her, which is what turned her into a rainbow drinker, and then she killed him, and then he came back, and now they're here.
The matriorb's still safe and sound in Kanaya's sylladex. She's still convinced it's getting hatched one of these damn days, though between the shifty looks her teammates keep giving her when she brings it up and their regrettable apathetic DEAD nature, she's not sure they're ready for it. She's definitely not ready to find out the truth about it yet.