It's been absurdly tentative since the beginning. Even if things weren't interdimensional -- we are in some farcical imitation of a war, and a temporary one at that.
Clinging to another person might be a futile aim, and nobody could blame you for giving up on caring after this. Independence is definitely a becoming trait for a soldier. If you give into isolation entirely, though... you never get the benefits of other people, after that. [She wonders if Asuka knew Haruka, had ever seen that hardening of heart firsthand.] So if you ever derived a real value from attaching yourself to someone... I think that still exists, even if the risk remains very high.
[She doesn't. Asuka is out there somewhere and the feed isn't video. She'd like to see her again... the question of this as their last chance to talk always casts a shadow.]
[Was definitely going to say something else a lot deeper. On the other side of the line, though, something changes drastically and then Kanaya's shuffling her feet, turning around.]
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[Asuka snaps, voice shrill.]
Why should I bother caring anymore if everyone can just vanish? I knew this was pointless - why bother if everyone just leaves you?
[If she weren't in panicmode, she might actually get what Kanaya's hinting at.]
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Clinging to another person might be a futile aim, and nobody could blame you for giving up on caring after this. Independence is definitely a becoming trait for a soldier. If you give into isolation entirely, though... you never get the benefits of other people, after that. [She wonders if Asuka knew Haruka, had ever seen that hardening of heart firsthand.] So if you ever derived a real value from attaching yourself to someone... I think that still exists, even if the risk remains very high.
[Does that make any sense? It's all bullshit.]
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[Yeah, still bitter. Her voice drops into an angry murmur.]
I hate everyone.
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That's a little drastic.
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[Spoken with all the bitterness of experience.]
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[She doesn't. Asuka is out there somewhere and the feed isn't video. She'd like to see her again... the question of this as their last chance to talk always casts a shadow.]
Does it make you... feel violent?
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[There's a new note of panic.]
They can't make me!
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[Was definitely going to say something else a lot deeper. On the other side of the line, though, something changes drastically and then Kanaya's shuffling her feet, turning around.]
Have to get back to work. Right now! Bye!
[In a clumsy way she deactivates the device.]