Kanaya Maryam (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
speakveryclearly) wrote2032-09-30 06:52 pm
speakveryclearly) wrote2032-09-30 06:52 pmIC Contact
Apparently Im Too Busy To Even Talk To You Right Now
How Unsurprising
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How Unsurprising
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speakveryclearly) wrote2032-09-30 06:52 pm
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They've been disappearing in such droves that possibly it's August all over again, all in seclusion somewhere. The typical departures... aren't usually so egregiously clustered.
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[Her voice cracks and she goes silent. She picks up again a moment later, voice a murmur.]
Not all at once...
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[Never would be a more accurate description. Her tongue is made of steel. If she's cool enough it will ice the wound.]
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[She's cracking up a little on the other end.]
Why would they just... send them back? Why now? We've been here for a year!
[She's only half-listening to Kanaya]
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Other transports have stayed longer and left later. It's so stupid, in general, I'm surprised they haven't taken you out of commission yet. There's never been any pattern. [She's awake most nights anyway.]
The floodgates are closed, for now. We're probably not losing too many more people in the next few days after this.
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That's not fair!
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Did you think it was fair, up until now?
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[There's a lot of resentment and anger and bitterness in her tone. Some of Asuka's nastiness is on display here, but she really doesn't care.]
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At least Tenjou can be with Himemiya again. Shinji and Kaworu... are a separate matter.]
Does that mean the worst of it is over now?
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[Read: they weren't important to me, so they didn't count.]
And what the Hell is that supposed to mean? They're gone! They're gone and they're not coming back! They weren't supposed to leave!
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What I mean to ask: is there anyone else left who matters to you in this sorry excuse for an army? Or are - were - they the last ones? If they are, you can rest in the knowledge that this is over, and can't happen again. [If they aren't... you get this sort of phone call, apparently, and feel dubious degrees of lucky.]
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[Asuka snaps, voice shrill.]
Why should I bother caring anymore if everyone can just vanish? I knew this was pointless - why bother if everyone just leaves you?
[If she weren't in panicmode, she might actually get what Kanaya's hinting at.]
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Clinging to another person might be a futile aim, and nobody could blame you for giving up on caring after this. Independence is definitely a becoming trait for a soldier. If you give into isolation entirely, though... you never get the benefits of other people, after that. [She wonders if Asuka knew Haruka, had ever seen that hardening of heart firsthand.] So if you ever derived a real value from attaching yourself to someone... I think that still exists, even if the risk remains very high.
[Does that make any sense? It's all bullshit.]
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[Yeah, still bitter. Her voice drops into an angry murmur.]
I hate everyone.
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That's a little drastic.
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[Spoken with all the bitterness of experience.]
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[She doesn't. Asuka is out there somewhere and the feed isn't video. She'd like to see her again... the question of this as their last chance to talk always casts a shadow.]
Does it make you... feel violent?
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[There's a new note of panic.]
They can't make me!
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[Was definitely going to say something else a lot deeper. On the other side of the line, though, something changes drastically and then Kanaya's shuffling her feet, turning around.]
Have to get back to work. Right now! Bye!
[In a clumsy way she deactivates the device.]